I believe I have mentioned once or twice that we have Pipe Gremlins.  

You might recall how they recently ate a hole in our gas line.

Also the gas company was kind enough to shut of our gas . . . so that our house doesn't explode or anything . . . while we look into getting it fixed.

On Wednesday the plumber came by to charge me $255.

This was the $60 for the service call and $195 to get a permit to turn the gas back on so it could be tested.

He told me his office would call me to set up an appointment for him to return.  Thursday they did not call.  Friday I waited, and waited, and waited.  Finally the phone rang.  It was the service contractors calling me to tell me the plumber was on his way to the house.


Minutes later he arrived and proceeded to actually check the pipes.  He came inside and made sure all the gas shut offs in the house were off.  Then he went back outside to run a pressure check.

I waited.

While I was waiting the phone rang.

It was the our warranty company.  I answered assuming they were just calling to check and make sure the plumber had shown up.

They were actually calling to tell me that they had just talked to the plumber.  The one in my front yard.  He had found the leak and had called them with an update, so that they could then call me with an update.

I held my breath.

"Because it's under the foundation, it's not technically within the house and is therefore not covered."  I had expected this.

"He has told us his quote and he can do the work for you but we will be unable to cover it."  (In other words, We ain't payin for it.)  Like I said.  I expected this.

"The quote he has given is seventy-two hundred."

You know that feeling when the blood rushes out of your head and you aren't sure you have heard something correctly so you keep repeating it to yourself over and over trying to process it?  Ya.  To be honest I had kind of been expecting this too.

"Thank you for your business.  Have a nice day."

I exhaled.

My husband was working at home so I yelled for him.  Probably should have gone upstairs and politely knocked on his office door considering he was working.  I might not have been entirely thinking clearly at the moment.  Plus I knew the plumber would be knocking on the door any second.  "Cash or check."  Hang on a second while I check the couch cushions . . .

I related the bad news to my husband.  It's going to be cold showers for the next couple of years.  I have no clue how we are going to wash the dishes . . . We won't even think about winter.  Do you think I would look good in dreads?

"Are you sure he didn't say a hundred and seventy two?"  "Um, yes.  I'm definitely sure he didn't say a hundred and seventy two."

The knock came.

We went to the door.

When he saw us both there he knew we had already heard the bad news.  "The warranty company called you?"

"Yeah.  $7200.00."

"Yeah.  So, here's the deal.  I found the leak in the pipe.  To fix the leak I would have to re-pipe the entire section, which would require running a new line.  The line would have to go all the way around the trees and cut across the driveway.  The driveway would have to be torn up to run the line.  That's where the high cost comes it."

"Right."  This is where we get ready to tell him, "thanks but no thanks."

"Now . . . the leak in in the section of pipe that feeds the pool heater."

"Wait . . . what?

"I could just cap that section off but you wouldn't be able to use that heater."

Ummm you mean the heater that has never worked?  That granted would be nice to have so we could swim in the winter but is hardly necessary in Texas!?  Especially not $7200.00 plus the cost of repairing the actual unit necessary.  Heck we could buy a brand new solar powered pool heater for less than that.  That pool heater?

"Uh, ya we don't use it anyway."  I'm really having to hold it together at this point not to burst out into hysterical laughter.

"The furnace does need a part to bring it up to code."

"Ok . . . "  We wait for the other shoe to drop.

"That'll cost $125.00."

$125.00!


Option A. $7200.00 + $125.00

Option B. $125.00


Guess which option we picked?  Take a wild stab at it.

Monday the plumber will return.  He will bring the furnace up to code.  Then he will call the city.  They will send an inspector.  Once that passes we can call the gas company.  They will come out and inspect the line.  Once that passes they can turn our gas back on.

And then I can take a hot shower!

Oh, and God totally has a sense of humor.  Because if someone had told me we had a gas leak and it was going to cost $375 total to fix, I would have been annoyed and stressed about the expense.  But now I am doing my little happy dance that it's only costing us $375 to fix.  (Envision Perfect Strangers style Dance of Joy.)